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blue_mantra
07 December 2008 @ 02:35 pm
 
 
blue_mantra
20 May 2007 @ 05:19 pm


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blue_mantra
20 May 2007 @ 03:32 pm
I have had LJ before, for about four years actually.. but I have started a brand new one to promote not only anonymity, but because more than anything I would like to reinvent myself, starting here.

I am a perfectionist. I constantly worry about everything. I have anxiety and panic attacks, a specific phobia, low self-esteem, poor self-image and a crap social life. I want this to change. My re-invention will probably comprise of positive and negative steps... I want to get over my anxiety problems most of all.. and that's obviously positive. But I also want to change my body to how I want.. which may not be totally healthy, I don't know. I want to become less of a perfectionist, and this may have an effect on how seriously I take my holiday job, and just how hard I push myself when I start uni this coming September. Oh yes that's another thing: this reinvention is because and for uni.

I want to be able to go to uni without panicking every night and day, and be able to meet and socialise with new people. I want to stop wearing my body down and down to the point of exhaustion and minor-illness, or as i get older minor illness problems will become major.

I want to exercise more.
Got out more.
Eat less junk.
Meet more people.
Read more books.
Listen to more music.
See more art.
Do more painting.
Go to new places....
I want to look better.

I want people to like me.. I have always felt like and outsider and I want to 'fit-in' at uni.. not by becoming a clone but by carving for myself the identity I have always wanted, the person I feel I should be. This person is far more like-able than I am. So, this is a short introduction. The rest of my journal will be private.

If you want to know more about me, the interests section on my profile should pretty much cover it. I am a big fan of 1950s fashion, burlesque and pin-up, but with a post-feminist and modern twist.

Right now i have to concentrate on getting through my exams. I have a 15 hour long art exam spread over two days this coming week... and have done little to no prep for it.
 
 
Current Mood: determineddetermined
Current Music: Nine Inch Nails - God Given